As the summer months wind down and those of us living in the chillier part of the world start moving inside, it’s time to reconnect with good friends, good female friends. It’s a known fact that women tend prioritize close relationships with other women. We do this to get support, both emotional and practical, for our busy and demanding lives.
What is the secret to deeper female friendship? Doing something RANDOM.
Says New York Magazine:
Twentysomething friendships involve long, late nights, all-day walks, and hours-long phone conversations. But having friends in your 30s is functionally impossible. There is no good time to see people, no friend equivalent of the candlelit dinner and rose-strewn canopy bed. To stay friends is to make do with the social equivalent of a taco truck and bathroom quickie. As the opposite of a sensualist, I actually prefer this. There’s something both efficient and exciting about having friends woven into the texture of daily life. It feels almost illicit when we manage to steal time together, like we are cheating on our grown-up lives….
What’s more, low expectations can be liberating. “When a friend comes to the grocery store with me because it’s what I have to do, the pressure to be fun evaporates,” says my friend Liesl. “Then we can just walk down the aisles and I can complain about the domestic shackles of having to make dinner and maybe get recipe ideas or maybe not, but somehow that kind of environment — purposeful, practical — allows me to be far more myself. And in that headspace — which is also key to feeling close to someone — the conversation organically weaves from the price of granola to something about my marriage to something I’ve read to petty gossip. And I feel way better after, especially since I got my groceries, too.”
How true is that? In our twenties we had plenty of time to schedule dinners, shopping trips and weekend retreats. In our thirties, life is just more complicated. Visits and connections needs to take place on the go. These meet ups can actually be more intimate. No more pressure to be perform, you can feel more like family (but in a good way).
Thoughts? What do you do with your friends? Do you do random activities (bookstore browsing, dog walking, grocery runs), or do you prefer more structured plans, like dinner and a movie?