friendships

Female Friendships On the Go

September 2nd, 2015

As the summer months wind down and those of us living in the chillier part of the world start moving inside, it’s time to reconnect with good friends, good female friends. It’s a known fact that women tend prioritize close relationships with other women. We do this to get support, both emotional and practical, for our busy and demanding lives.

What is the secret to deeper female friendship? Doing something RANDOM.

Says New York Magazine:

Twentysomething friendships involve long, late nights, all-day walks, and hours-long phone conversations. But having friends in your 30s is functionally impossible. There is no good time to see people, no friend equivalent of the candlelit dinner and rose-strewn canopy bed. To stay friends is to make do with the social equivalent of a taco truck and bathroom quickie. As the opposite of a sensualist, I actually prefer this. There’s something both efficient and exciting about having friends woven into the texture of daily life. It feels almost illicit when we manage to steal time together, like we are cheating on our grown-up lives….

What’s more, low expectations can be liberating. “When a friend comes to the grocery store with me because it’s what I have to do, the pressure to be fun evaporates,” says my friend Liesl. “Then we can just walk down the aisles and I can complain about the domestic shackles of having to make dinner and maybe get recipe ideas or maybe not, but somehow that kind of environment — purposeful, practical — allows me to be far more myself. And in that headspace — which is also key to feeling close to someone — the conversation organically weaves from the price of granola to something about my marriage to something I’ve read to petty gossip. And I feel way better after, especially since I got my groceries, too.”

How true is that? In our twenties we had plenty of time to schedule dinners, shopping trips and weekend retreats. In our thirties, life is just more complicated. Visits and connections needs to take place on the go. These meet ups can actually be more intimate. No more pressure to be perform, you can feel more like family (but in a good way).

Thoughts? What do you do with your friends? Do you do random activities (bookstore browsing, dog walking, grocery runs), or do you prefer more structured plans, like dinner and a movie?

 

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24 responses to “Female Friendships On the Go”

  1. I like doing all different kinds of things with my friends. Some days it’s simple stuff like going for a walk together , or going bike riding or roller blading together. Some days we meet for lunch and go shopping after. It switched between simple and more structured. I also do fun things with my friends like go karting , mini golfing , canoeing , or take road trips to get away for a weekend. We like to switch it up instead of always doing the same thing . No one wants to be bored. But when we do fun silly things ; it allows us to just let loose and be free and fun. I can always just be myself with my friends. I’m actually in the car right now with my best friend. We are coming back from a week vacation in Québec 🙂 ten hour drive and already done 7 hours of it ! 😉 

  2. Now that lives are busy with kids and career we make our girl chats at paint nights or pottery painting or some sort of activity that requires no supervision of “the littles” . We can sit back and talk about all the scandalous activities we get up to with our other half and the surprises “panty by post” brings to our doors 😉

  3. My friends and I love to do a bunch of different fun things together. From going to the mall and window shopping and trying on a bunch of clothes, to the beach on a scorching hot day, or staying home scarfing down ice cream and watching a few chick flicks when one of us is feeling kinda down.

  4. Sometimes we do random things, but usually we plan ahead.  So many times we plan to do some kind of exercise… and end up sitting on a patio for drinks instead.  

  5. Ever since several of us bought houses, a lot of my friend time is spent going to Home Depot and helping each other cart our purchases home, where we usually end up having some wine. Several of us work out together, too.

  6. Most of the time we plan our activities like trips to the beach, amusement parks, movies or we occasionally do some random shopping or dining out.

  7. We are so busy that we have to have a structured, planned event.  But that gives us something to look forward to!

  8. My friends and I definitely do random things! We visit random little cafes, go for walks in new places, go to the grocery store to find something new to eat, and etc. I preferred structured plans usually, but sometimes random adventures are exciting and fun! 

  9. We love to order Chinese takeout then go to the park and eat and play like children. It’s so much fun honestly. We’lol have tree climbing contests, human pyramids, and then once we pass out from exhaustion we get water ice in our way home.

  10. My friends and I have discovered that when we make plans to do something they usually run into a last minute snag on some-one’s part and are cancelled.  Now the things we do are random.  We just make a phone call saying “hey, I’m going to do ……… want to go” and we usually can drop the kids w/the hubby or grama and go do it.  Doesn’t have to be anything too exciting just a few hours carved out for talking and down time. 

  11. It really varies and depends on our schedules. Sometimes it’seems random because we have a spare moment but more likely than not we’re so busy that we have to plan ahead.

  12. These days it is hard. Between jobs and kids, you really have to wing it. These days its usually a meet up for drinks and appys but more structured things are coming as my sis and law and I are going to be starting to get together as gym buddies.

  13. Brunch! Brunch out and about, brunch at home, fancy brunch or pj brunch, it’s all good to me! As long as the mimosas and coffee are flowing, I’m happy at brunch with my girlfriends.

  14. Both…..spontaneous events with friends that do not have kids while its structured events with those that do.  Either or the plan is to have fun!

  15. Friends are few and far between, and when we find them they enrich our lives in many ways as we theirs. We laugh we cry we share hope and dreams and we give good and sometimes bad advice,at times. Best of all we have that one friend to share our most precious secrets with and their inner most thoughts with us, knowing we will always be there through thick and thin, to help when needed and too have fun when we can. These are the friendships I have and hope others do to, for there are to few and far between.

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